Hi Ladies!
I just realized how long it's been since I last posted! I love reading all of your posts :) You ladies are AWESOME!
I've been doing GREAT. I'm down 10 lbs since mid-January! YAY me! I haven't really been working out because: 1) I'm lazy; 2) Still trying to juggle life with 2 kidlets; 3) I {and the 2 kids} were sick a couple weeks ago, and I can't get back into the swing of working out again.
But I'm feeling really great and a lot more comfortable with my food choices. Here's what I'm realizing about my "dieting personality, about food and my toxic relationship with it:
1. Food isn't my best friend and it isn't my enemy. It's just food. And EATING food {in proper portions!} will allow me to find my comfortable weight.
2. Deprivation breeds rebellion. I have the kind of personality that if you tell me I CAN'T have something, it's all I want. I'm learning that if I allow myself to have something, I really savour the portion or sometimes I don't even want it at all. But the mere fact I'm deliberately depriving of it is the driving factor in obsessing about it. You'll NEVER catch me on Atkins again.
3. Slow and steady wins the race. I'm still nursing my 11 week old, so I can't lose weight quickly as it deleteriously affects my milk production THIS IS A GOOD THING. Usually when I'm on a fad diet, I get so excited about dropping 20 lbs in a couple weeks, then the diet becomes unsustainable -- they ALWAYS do -- and I "fall off the wagon" only to gain the weight back {and then some!}. Right now, I'm dropping .5 - 2 lbs per week and I'm eating REAL foods I enjoy {I eat chocolate and chips almost daily!} and I'm eating a TON of fruits and veggies.
4. Weighing myself everyday is CRAZY. But I still do it. I'm trying to stop because it only makes me anxious and puts me in a bad mood if I'm .5 lb, or alternatively makes me over-elated if I'm down 2 lbs. Once a week is enough. I'm trying to NOT throw myself into a tailspin over silly water weight.
5. I need to give myself more love and more credit. I'm a total self-hater. I say terrible and mean things to myself. Even when I was 135 lbs, I would constantly write in my journal that I was such a cow. Oh, what I'd give to be a 135 lbs again. I'm learning to be grateful for my body, even at this size. I can move - I can jump - I can walk - I can even run - I can dance - I can give my kids kisses - I am worthy of love. YES, even at my current weight. This way of thinking is totally radical to me.
I'm really looking forward to hitting the gym soon and getting out on the roads to train for my half-marathon in May. Anyway, I feel like I've got a good momentum going, and I just want to continue going in this positive and healthy direction.
Maggie I just love you, this was beautifully said. After reading this I am even more motivated, thank you! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm used to facebook and looking for that "like" button to click. I'm with Laura, your post is totally motivating! You have a way with words and you're totally on the right track. Just keep focusing on those babies, you have your priorities right. I know for me, having girls really helped me quit with the "self-hate" mumbo jumbo, I mean I still tend to be hard on myself at times. But, I realized I don't want my daughters to grow up obsessing, or comparing themselves to an unattainable ideal. I try instead to focus my attitude and talk to being the healthiest me. :) Keep up the good word!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your support ladies! You are all so inspiring! <3
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